Some things are so hard to deal with, your brain tries to just block them out – I tell myself as I grab the rim and throw up – but once you feel them again, the pain comes right back.
My nose and mouth burn, as I wretch, spit, and cough.
I lean back on the wall next to the tub, and groan. I reach out and press down on the handle to flush. What was once a few shots and many, many beers, sinks down the drain.
I look over at my friend, Matt. He sits, with his back to the sink. We have been here for an hour or so.
His eyes are shut.
“I- I feel, I, oh- this is rough,” he says. “Last night just- it just – it got so out of hand.”
“Don’t be dumb. I had a guh- (I fight back the urge to puke again) great time. Glad we went.” I mean it too; we spent the whole night at a ’20s theme bash. When I got home, I had time to take off my dress shirt. . . now here I am.
“We’ll live,” I say. But I’m not quite too sure, to tell you the truth. He groans again.
I reach for the knob to turn on the water. The sound helps.
“It was worth it, right?” Matt says. “I mean, you had your shot with Liz! You took her to her dorm, did you. . . ”
I shake my head. “I just made sure she got there safe. We did kiss. That is it.”
“Wow,” he says. “You are a good guy, you know that? I think we-” Matt stops, and goes limp. I look over to make sure he is ok. Still good – just out cold. My arms slip to my sides. I lean my head on the tub.
When I think of the night, the pain now does not matter much. If this is the price of living in the now, I will pay it.